September 1, 2010
Dear BOAF,
Second day here and I can feel a fever coming on. It’s probably because I didn’t blow my nose while I was at a panel reading today. I was nervous – stop judging me! Anyway, it’s Day Two in London and I miss everyone back home. I feel like right here in the midst of these 400 bisexuals from all over the world, I am you’ll – my family. Jet lag wasn’t all that much; all I needed was to catch up on some sleep I missed out on, while on my way here. The weather here is a lot like the weather I thought I’d left behind back home. It is cloudy and drizzles a lot. The University that we’re at is close to the River Thames and is on the side of a dock that runs along it, so it gets windy most of the time. It’s not really cold, but can feel cold to my beautiful brownness! Did I mention that we’re also close to the London Airport? No, not Heathrow or Gatwick, it’s a smaller airport. All through the day you can watch planes land and take off while having a smoke by the river. They have rules against smoking indoors so people have to head out of the accommodation area to have a cig. Mornings are a bitch for smokers! I find it incredibly bumming out because the kettle in our kitchen is broken – which means no morning coffee!
Everyone here is so open about who they are, they are receptive and free of inhibition, but the one thing that is being repeated is that they ‘identify’ as something, which involuntarily brings with it this truck load of labels that are dumped out front in the driveway. Instead of having an environment that is free of labels, everyone has a bunch of labels. At some point during the reading I did today (of my piece in Robyn Ochs’ Getting Bi) I mentioned that I never really felt the need to identify as something or call myself something alternate to the ordinary. It was while watching TV that I learned about labels and tried to figure out what mine was – in terms of sexuality. It made me wonder if there are others back home who feel the same way. Did we just begin to call ourselves something, did labels never matter to you to begin with or have you always known of labels and defied them (if you do)? Also, does having a label make you feel secure about yourself? It goes hand in hand with ‘coming out’ doesn’t it? I come out because I decide that it’s time you know that I am… gay, bisexual, etc. What made us feel the need to give ourselves a label? Who started the concept of ‘coming out’? The reason behind coming out has suddenly become a bit blurred.
There’s a bunch of people being pretty and having a bunch of fun in a pub a little way off. I wish I could be there at it, bit what with this fever and all… No, I’m not making excuses and I’m not missing a particular someone, wishing they were here instead so I could be wildly creative with them in my plush little room, on a spring bed that would just be so much fun. I’m not even thinking about it – promise! I’m just trying to not fall sick and resting indoors – on my own.
I know I’m going to be able to put all this up only after I get to a place with internet, but just so you know – I’m thinking about you’ll and am proud to be representing our family. The concept of which, by the way, people here love! They now have this interesting picture of the community in Pune and can’t wait to get a taste of what it’s like to be a part of a safe space where gender or orientation does not matter. Birds of a Feather – I love you so much and yes, you’ll are the other reason I miss home.
Much Love
No comments:
Post a Comment