Today

June 17, 2011

What a day it has been.

Emotional, beautiful,

A tinge of tough and different tides of love.

What a day.

Change, is that you

calling my name?

Your essence inked my soul.

I've been standing here bleeding in the rain

waiting for you to wash away what I feel for him.

I beg you, be fair and set me free.

Fate, is that you

whispering her name?

I called her to say hi, to know she's alright

But she lies and

I don't hear it in her voice.

The sky cries, beautiful sighs

And I pray with my heart, please let her stay

What a day it has been.

Emotional, beautiful,

A tinge of tough and different tides of love.

What a day.

Fearlessly, I have loved

May 30, 2011

I have loved.

In many ways, I have loved

You, me, him, her, them.

Like a daughter, I have loved

Learning of the unconditional, easy, difficult and primal kind

Them, I have loved

As a sister, I have loved

Fierce and to protect, a blood connect, she taught me how

Her, I have loved

As an aunt, I have loved

Protective and unconditional, the way my family loves

Him and her, I have loved

Through adolescence, I have loved

Discovering ourselves together; exploring, trusting and intense

She, I have loved

Like a soulmate, I have loved

Natural surrender, without intent or orient, platonic and true

He, I have loved

On my own, I have loved

Discovering within, someone valuable and worth it

I learned, and me, I have loved

As a woman, I have loved

For the first time, a man, complete and new

Him, I have loved.

Like a friend, I have loved

Without inhibition, expectation and recommendation

You, I have loved

At the end, I am content

Though love has lost and sometimes broken me

It has also taught, found and healed

Within me I known that

Fearlessly, I have loved.

Untitled

March 31, 2011

We were fated to be kind, disastrous lovers,

Confusing our own emotions

Like birds with vertigo and no sense of direction

In no way was he ever mine, my heart already his

He was like gravity,

Not responsible for everything that falls

I'd fallen in love with him

From the minute I'd heard him sing, I've wanted to believe

That he was meant for me and our love "epic" was meant to be

All of our little experience in love, lust and the lack of it

insisted that we try to be smart. And we tried so hard. We did.

Thus, before we began, we saw the end of it

A relationship with the potential of the stars and the moon

refused to start and ended so soon

Some days I wish we could talk like we used to

Back when we were real, too ready to feel

Then he became a figment of my imagination that made me want to scream

But like the birds and the bees have nothing to do with things that people in love do,

we have nothing to say to each other.

This is true.

Those Three Words: Her Muse

March 18, 2011

Three words you say after you've said goodbye,

makes me want more than what we have tonight.

I want to be allowed

to watch you when you cry, overcome with emotions,

overwhelmed with joy. Like me,

when we made love in the middle of this empty room,

on this stone cold floor. I want to

carve your name into every brick that has built this house and more,

because you with me,

we can make this a home.

I want to smile so wide, my face almost splits in half

with happiness

like I'm about to explode with the warmth you can make my body feel by even being in a different continent.

Inspired by newness, belonging, distance, desire,

the familiar and the unknown. As far as my words go,

my pen excitedly flies across paper, writing out thoughts that come out faster than my hand can keep up with.

I want to tell the whole world that I've made it till here,

that now I'm finally allowed to discover what I seem to deserve.

I love you.

Purple, Everyday

November 3, 2010

I logged onto facebook the other day,

someone tagged me in a post that said today...

wear purple.

Wear the color on your skin in honor of kids

Who lost their lives being homophobically bullied to death

A new concept

A virtual way of trying to make a difference

What you don’t see is that my heart, it bleeds

Every single time you point at something stupid and say

Oh my god dude! That is so gay!

It wrinkles me up inside, just a little bit

Forces me to hide from your careless whiff of humor

Forcing me to feel, like there’s something wrong in being me

You think its so easy to tag people on a social networking site

Pretending that wearing a particular color on a particular day

Is going to change the way my life is… the way I’ve been treated?

Is it going to change the way Asher Brown died the other day

A gun shot through his head

Seth had a rope around his neck and a tree

And Tyler Clementi was found, drowned, swollen, purple and blue

Did you know their names at all, does any of this even affect you?

Does it cut right through you, break your heart make you feel like your guts are on the floor, like I’m so tired of speaking up, I don’t have the strength to fight this anymore

This is the world we live in

Just because you don’t see it, refuse to believe it

Doesn’t make it unreal

Do these words make you feel uncomfortable?

Good. Maybe now you’ll see the shame they force me with

At what point did you decide that you get the right to have an opinion on

who I fall in love with, or who I want to spend the rest of my life with

Who said that you had a say in my life, my lover or any of this?

When they say that it’s a sin to be gay

I don’t believe they know what they’re saying

Coz if there is a God, he made me this way

With the ability to love without boundaries, without the limitation of gender orientation

I can love… unconditionally!

It don't matter if you’re a girl or a boy

I see beyond the body painted on your soul, right to your heart that makes you whole

I love you for who you are, not for who you cannot be.

Because that, it doesn’t matter to me!

I got tagged in a post on facebook today. Wear Purple, it said –

To fight homophobic bullying and make a difference.

What you still don’t see is that,

I’m a bisexual woman and I bleed many shades of purple, everyday.

My Decisive Core

October 20, 2010

At this crossroad of coincidence

I stand, in the middle of who I am

and what I must be

Should I use my voice and be free,

Risking what everyone thinks of me?

An activist of a simple situation

The need to love without boundaries and stereotypes has

Put me on this pedestal, without a mic

What words must I say to inspire you my brother?

The whispers of my long lost lover, my friend

who inevitably broke my heart at the end

My beginning, when I broke out of that damned closet

that held me in shame, In chains

bound to what I thought society had condemned was right

A liberation of a different kind,

The kind that most like me experience when they decide

That honesty means being brave about who you are

There is no shame in it

My past behind me has made me a woman that can be strong

Like my father,

unafraid of speaking my mind in the face of injustice, inequality and everything wrong

Like my grandfather

who changed his surname to defy the casteism it proclaimed

Is this my chance to carry on that legacy along with their name - is it the same?

Of revolutionaries gone before me who’ve inspired me,

to the cobblestone future lain out in front of me

What words must I use to inspire you my sister?

The stories of feminists who dared to live the life they chose,

instead of the ones expected of them,

lives without a tragic end –

Their love stories told of a strong kind of love we only dream of and imagine we could have –

But we can

When we decide that mediocrity is not enough

In this kind of love is Pride

I stand at the centre of my destiny,

the fates at their spinning wheels

not really sure which thread will lead me to my own providence

I look around and I see you

In your eyes, the desire to speak up, to change this discrepancy of a life we think has style,

to use your voice to mesmerize and make “it” happen

The words I choose to say today are not my own

This is not my future alone, but ours

We create this world that we choose to grow old in

We damage it, ridicule it, defect it, affect it and some days we suck the goddamned life out of it

Do you really want to live in a dead world without free love?

Mohandas said – be the change you wish to see in this world

The decision to be... lies solely between you for yourself

And right here, right now and in every single minute… for me.

15 Random things that make me (inexplicably) happy

October 19, 2010

T got this going, and I'm pretending to work for a bit... So here goes... 15 random things that make me inexplicably happy, in no particular order.

1. Hugs

2. A Warm bed on a cold morning

3. Subway musicians

4. Spoken Word

5. Watching people fall in 'like'

6. People with a good sense of humor

7. My leather jacket

8. Fun "it"

9. Good original indie bands in india

10. Homemade Southern Crumb Fried Chicken

11. Pay Day

12. Long drives/ bike rides

13. Dougie-ing

14. Lots of No. 8.

15. Men who can sing!